All That Glitters
by futurama
Summary: The girls are sent to New York on a mission and Clover is absolutely thrilled. Until...
1. The Big Apple

Hello there. This is my first TS fic (duh). I haven't seen a lot of the episodes so I'm not up to par with everything… anyway, on with the fic. No flames please.

* * *

Clover was bored. 

She stared listlessly at the clock on the classroom wall while Mrs. Dullard, her history teacher, talked endlessly about the American Civil War and its repercussions on the country's history. "Who cares?" the blond thought grumpily. "That was soooo long ago. Besides, they didn't have anything important then – like malls and dance clubs! Or beauty salons!"

She grinned slightly to herself. "That reminds me… when the bell rings and this crappy class is history, I'm gonna head to the mall to do some serious shopping! I need to forget all this garbage!"

She sat listlessly through the last ten minutes of class, unwillingly wrote down the homework assignment and then hurriedly left the classroom. She wanted to catch the first bus to the mall before her brain exploded from hearing too much useless history facts.

* * *

Later, at the mall, she sighed in relief as she sipped a Coke and checked out the after-school crowd. There were lots of guys around, some of whom were giving her the once-over. She smiled coyly and took another sip of her drink. She was in her element; flirting came so naturally to her, besides shopping and being popular. Especially being popular; that was one thing her rival, next-door neighbor Mandy, could never buy with her wads of cash. _No wonder she hates_ _my guts_, Clover giggled to herself. 

She put down her empty soda can and studied the boys again; two of them looked like definite date material. She winked at one of them and he gave her a big grin, revealing rows of teeth hugged by shiny braces. _Ugh, _she thought.

Clover turned and fixed her attention on the other boy. He gave her a smile, which thankfully was braces-free. _I'll try my luck with him, but I want to freshen up first before turning on the ol' Clover charm, _she thought. Getting to her feet, she eased her way through a crowd of students who had just arrived in the food court, wondering loudly what to eat. Clover walked around a wall and went to the ladies' room. She looked in the mirror and took out her comb.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A tunnel opened up under her feet and she tumbled into it, screaming. As the hole closed up behind her another girl opened the washroom door; she heard the scream and looked around fearfully. But there was nobody to be seen. Shrugging, she went into an empty stall and locked the door.

* * *

THUMP! 

Clover landed on the couch with a muffled yelp. She sat up, shaking her fist at her boss, Jerry, while she pushed her tousled hair out of her eyes. "Jerry, how could you **do** this to me? I had a guy all lined up for the evening! I was just about to –"

THUMP! THUMP!

"**YEOWCH!"**

"Whoops, sorry, Clover!" "Sorry about that, Clover!"

The blond sighed heavily as she lay squashed under her two friends, Alex and Sam. Doubtless they'd also been summoned from wherever they were to take part in their latest mission. Whatever it was. Though Clover was certain it couldn't be as exciting as scoring another date. _I was so close! _she thought angrily.

"Now that you're all here, ladies, I have a mission for you," Jerry said.

"Yeah, like we didn't figure that out yet," Clover muttered.

Jerry frowned at her, got up from his desk and walked towards the window. Behind him Sam and Alex moved aside, yanking Clover into an upright position. She grunted at them as she tried to smooth her hair. "We've been getting reports of young people going missing from a certain nightclub in New York City-"

"_New York?_ Woo-hoo! _Finally_ a case worth investigating!" Clover shouted, pumping her fist in the air. Alex and Sam glared at her while Jerry sighed. "You will fly over there this evening and check out the club in question. It's in Soho and –"

"Soho? YES! This couldn't get any better!" Clover squealed, getting off the couch and doing cartwheels around the room. Her two friends looked at her and sweatdropped while Jerry frowned. "If you don't mind, Clover, I'm not finished yet."

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure, Jerry. Sorry about that." Clover gave her boss a big grin as she sat down on the couch again. The older man folded his arms. "It may be a bit… unusual for you spies, but I don't think any harm will come to you. In any event G.L.A.D.I.S. will provide you with some gadgets which may come in useful."

"Unusual? What's so unusual about New York? The nightlife! The shopping! The celebrities! I am SO stoked about this mission, Jerry!" Clover said, bouncing on the couch. Her boss' lips curled into a thin smile. "It didn't sound like it at first."

"It didn't? Oh, I was! I knew when I got her it would be the best assignment ever!" Clover squealed while her Alex and Sam rolled their eyes. Jerry rolled his eyes, too. "I wish you were as enthused for every assignment you have. G.L.A.D.I.S.?"

A vent in the ceiling opened and robot arms descended from WOOHP's resident artificial intelligence unit. "First, some anti-pheromones," she said, handing three small bottles to Sam.

Clover raised an eyebrow. "Whaddaya mean _anti_-pheromones? We want stuff to attract guys, not repel them!"

"Reflecting collapsible metal helmets," G.L.A.D.I.S. went on calmly as though Clover didn't even exist. She gave the three metal packages to Alex, who studied them and scratched her head. "And last but not least…"

The robotic arm handed three outfits to Clover. The teenager looked at them and grinned. "NOW we're talking! Clubbing outfits!"

"They look kind of, um… weird," Sam offered, spotting metal studs. Clover shrugged and smiled broadly. "Who cares? We got our party outfits and we're headed to New York! What could be better?"

"Nothing, I suppose," sighed Jerry. "Goodbye, girls, and good luck."


	2. Tacky Much?

"New York City! Wow, when last did we have an assignment there?" Clover asked, lounging in her seat. "I hope I meet some celebrities and get their autographs! When I show them to everyone at school Mandy will be SOOOOOO jealous!" 

"Yeah, it _would_ be neat to get some autographs," Alex smiled. Sam sighed as she flew the girls' private jet. "I hope you're not planning on turning this into a mini-vacation, Clover, because we're here on a mission."

"Yeah Sammie, I know that. I just… ooh! New York! I can't believe it! _And_ we're staying at the Oh So Posh hotel! Maybe I'll even take in a game at Yankee stadium!" the blond exclaimed. Alex looked interested. "That sounds even better. Or maybe we could go catch a tennis game at the US Open!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "Great… now she's influencing Alex."

"And the restaurants! And the clubs! I bet this is one of the swankest clubs in the city!" Clover said. She fished out the name she'd written down on a piece of paper. "'City Speaks.' It sounds so cool!"

She and Alex chattered away about the upcoming trip while Sam sighed again and focused on flying the plane.

* * *

When she got to New York, Sam ran into trouble. Normally when they flew somewhere for an assignment she'd land the plane in a wooded or uninhabited area. Unfortunately she couldn't seem to find any spot like that in the city, unless it was miles and miles away like on Long Island or Yonkers.

"Crap! What are we going to do now?" asked Alex worriedly, hovering over Sam's shoulder and looking down at the computer screen which showed the city bright with blazing lights.

"Tell me about it! I can't afford to miss this assignment, not when I've gotten so stoked for it!" Clover said as she peered over Sam's other shoulder. The redhead rolled her eyes. "Watch and learn, Clover."

She angled the steering device down and her two friends yelped as they tumbled to the floor. The plane went into a nosedive, headed straight for the downtown core.

"Sammie, what are you DOING?" Clover yelled, trying to get up but unable to because of the speed they were traveling. Sam looked down at her and winked. "Just getting us some free parking!"

Without warning the plane leveled off and stopped abruptly. Then it dropped. Alex and Clover screamed again, covering their heads with their hands.

THUD!

Clover and Alex screamed a third time. Sam laughed, shut off the engines and took off her belt. "Welcome to Oh So Posh, girls," she said as she got to her feet and stretched. "I have first dibs on the jacuzzi."

She opened the door and hopped out of the plane. Her two friends slowly unclasped their hands from their heads, looked at each other, and sweatdropped.

* * *

"I gotta hand it to you, Sammie," Clover said later as she lazed on the room's small couch. "Parking on the roof was the best thing there is about this place."

Sam made a rude noise. She'd found that there was no jacuzzi in their room, just a regular shower (and a small one at that). When she was finished bathing and stepped out of the shower the steam had fogged up the mirror so much she couldn't see her reflection. Grumbling, she'd snapped one of the complimentary, short, white towels around her waist and stormed out of the bathroom. Alex, who had been sitting cross-legged waiting to use the bathroom, jumped up and ran inside. "Gross! It's like a tropical rainforest in here!" she complained before slamming the door shut.

"So much for our dream assignment." Clover rolled her eyes as she looked around the room. Dark wallpaper, tacky paintings and a twenty-inch TV set adorned the room. "There's no refrigerator! We can't even keep drinks here!"

"Why do they call this place Oh So Posh anyhow?" asked Sam angrily, digging for her clothes. The towel slid down a little and she hastily pulled it back up, blushing. "Oops."

Clover cackled at her. "Looks like you lost some weight, Sammie!"

"Shut up." Sam stuck out her tongue and continued to rummage in her suitcase. Just then the bathroom door opened and Alex fled outside, her hair totally frizzed. "Samantha! Your steam ruined my hair!" she cried, pointing to her coiffure.

"Now that is just gross!" Clover muttered, staring at Alex's hair.

"_My_ steam? It's **their** hot water!" Sam grumbled, gathering her clothes and heading for the bathroom to get changed.

* * *

"Maybe we could complain," Clover said as they headed down to the ground floor in the elevator.

Sam and Alex looked hopefully at her. Both of them wore frizzy do's and weren't happy about it. "You think it might work?" Sam asked. Clover shrugged. "It might. Or we could just flash our WOOHP membership cards and say since we're here to save some missing kids we deserve better accommodation-"

"Oh put a lid on it, Clover. We can't blow our cover and you know it." Sam sighed and leaned back against the elevator wall. Just then the car stopped and the doors silently slid open. "At least the elevator works good," Clover sniffed.

Sam led the way to the manager's desk. She smiled at him, a fat, balding guy in a wrinkled suit. "Um… hi. My name is Samantha and these are my friends, Alex and Clover. We were booked into room 1620 but I think it's a mistake."

"A mistake?" The manager pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and peered closely at the girls. "Room 1620 you say. I seem to recall that one…"

"The booking was done by a man called Jerry," said Alex helpfully. The hotel manager nodded. "Ah yes, I remember now! He called yesterday."

"Well, um… is there another room we could stay in?" asked Clover.

The manager looked worried. "Is something wrong with your current room?"

"Oh no, no! Nothing's wrong with it –" started Sam.

"Just everything," muttered Clover under her breath. Sam dug her in the side with an elbow and went on. "Um, it's just that the room is a bit small for the three of us and the bathroom really steams up when we shower and the décor is…"

The manager chuckled, stopping Sam's recital in mid-flow. "I'm sorry ladies, but I was given strict instructions by Jerry to book you three in a room of…" He paused and checked the computer screen in front of him. "The one-star variety."

"ONE STAR?" Clover demanded, face red with rage. "He sends us to New York on an assignment and he expects us to get things done with frizzy hair and dime-store art hanging over our beds? This is crazy!"

"You mean there's better rooms in this hotel?" Alex asked in a whisper. The manager nodded proudly. "But of course! We go all the way up to the five star range, where all the celebrities stay of course. Or politicians. No, my dear, Jerry insisted you stay in those quarters. He thought it would, if I remember correctly, "Keep you focused."

"Focused, huh? I'll focus HIM when we get back home!" Clover seethed. Sam gave an embarrassed smile and grabbed her arm. "Sorry about that. Your elevator is um, very nice!" she called as she and Alex dragged the fuming Clover out of the lobby.

"So much for your dream vacation, huh, Clover?" asked Alex wickedly.

"SHUT UP!" Clover yanked her arm free and glared at her two friends. "If there's five-star rooms in this place then there's gotta be food to eat and I'm starving! And if there's no restaurant I'm going to call Jerry and give him a piece of my mind!"

So saying, Clover stormed off towards the dining area. Sam and Alex shrugged and followed.


	3. Fancy Dinner

**Eccentric Cheezy Squirrel: **I guess you're right, there probably wouldn't be any one-star hotel rooms in a New York hotel, lol. And thanks for the c&c regarding new paragraphs.

**Mat49324: **Thanks for the review!

* * *

The restaurant looked huge from the outside. As the girls peered through the doorway they could see families eating and chatting away. At some tables singles ate alone; Clover's quick eye spotted a handsome fellow working away at a thick porterhouse steak. "Ooh, look at that dreamboat!" she said, clasping her hands as hearts swirled around her head. 

Alex followed her gaze. "Yeah, that steak looks real good! I'm gonna order that and fries and a shake and salad and…"

Clover glared at her and Sam sighed. She walked into the restaurant and spoke to the maitre d', who was standing near the entrance with a towel draped over his arm. "Hi. We'd like a table for three, please."

"Indeed, madam. Smoking or non-smoking?" he asked.

"Non-smoking," Sam replied promptly. The maitre d' tweaked his mustache and led them towards an empty table near the middle of the restaurant. Clover noticed with dismay that they were being led away from the guy demolishing his steak. "Uh… is that the smoking section?" she asked the maitre d', pointing in the direction of her quarry. Their guide nodded. "Yes madam, it is."

"We changed our mind. We wanna sit there instead!" she announced. Alex did a double take as Clover grabbed her arm and led her towards an empty table next to the guy. Sam rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to protest, but the maitre d' simply said, "Very well, madam," as he followed them. He pulled out a chair for each girl to sit in and they did, amongst exclamations of "Oh, thank you!" and "Wow, this is great!"

The girls sat down and their guide left, flicking his mustache.

"This place is soooo cool!" Clover squealed, looking around. "If I get lucky I'll see a few celebrities! Good thing I brought my camera with me!"

"Yeah, but I don't think you should ask for their autographs while they're eating dinner," Sam said drily. "Or take their pictures, either!"

"Yeah, they might think Clover's a paparazzi and arrest her," Alex giggled. Clover made a rude noise and turned her head aside, studying the young man at the next table who was still chomping away. _He doesn't wear braces, _she thought gleefully. _But… appetite much?_

Just then a waiter came up to them. "Good evening, ladies! How are you doing?" he asked.

"Pretty good," Alex said.

"Okay," Sam shrugged.

"Totally divine!" Clover giggled, looking across at her quarry once more. Sam groaned and Alex smothered a laugh. The waiter smiled and whipped out a pen and pad. "May I recommend today's special, green salad with croutons, followed by paté de foie gras or duck a l'orange, your choice. May I also recommend the dessert special this evening, chocolate cheesecake drizzled with fudge sauce? Trust me, it's really good," he grinned.

"Sounds good to me!" said Clover, banging her menu shut and smiling widely at him. Alex studied her menu closely. "Umm… do you have anything with carrots in it?"

"Yes we do. For dessert you might want to try our carrot cake instead of the chocolate cheesecake."

"Cool! What'll you have, Sammie?" she asked her friend. Sam shrugged. "The special, I guess. Could I have some water?" she asked the waiter.

"I'll have a Coke," Alex piped in.

"Same here," Clover added.

The waiter scribbled the orders on his pad. "Will that be all, ladies?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, thank you."

The waiter walked off and Clover turned to look at the guy sitting at the table next to them. He was almost done with his steak, but still had some fries to go. He felt her gaze on him and turned; Clover's smiled at him. "I was too chicken to try the steak, so it's the special for me," she said.

The guy grinned at her. "This steak is great! I can't remember the last time I had one this good," he said.

"Oh… you eat out often?" asked Clover, turning to face him as Sam and Alex rolled their eyes. The guy chuckled and took a sip of his drink. "Yeah, my wife works late and I like to go meet her so we can go home together. But I'm a rotten cook, so I eat out a lot."

Clover's mouth dropped open and almost fell to the ground. "Your… wife?" she squeaked.

He nodded. "Yeah, we've been married eight years now. She's one heck of a gal," he said, spearing a french fry.

Clover faced front again, her face ashen with shock; Alex cleared her throat. "I guess that's one way to kill a conversation," she said slyly.

"Shut up!" hissed Clover as Alex and Sam dissolved into giggles.

* * *

For Clover, the dinner was a disaster. Shortly after her faux pas the guy sitting next to them finished his dinner and left. After the table was cleared a middle-aged couple was seated at it. No sooner had they sat down than they lit up cigarettes and started talking in very loud voices. Clover's chair was nearest to them and could easily overhear things like: 

"So ah told Abe ah cain't make it to the prayer meeting this weekend! Ah gotta go to New Yawk for a coupla days! But Ah'll be back in church next weekend!"

"Yeah, Ah was tellin' Mavis Ah cain't meet her at bingo this weekend. It's a good thaing we got her as a friend, huh, Bud? She's the only one Ah trust to water our begonias properly. And take Max out for a walk eeeeevery daiy."

"Thaht's right, Belle! Ain't nothing better than a trustworthy friend! True friends is hard to come by, yessirre dawg!"

Bud took a deep drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke out. It drifted over to the girls' table and Alex started to cough. "Clover," she sputtered, "Could you sometimes NOT think with your hormones?"

"I wonder if that's possible," Sam choked, waving the smoke away from her face with her hand. Clover blushed deep red and sank lower into her chair. "Sorry, guys."

Their salads came then and Alex grabbed her fork. "I can't wait to try this! It looks so good!" she exclaimed, stabbing at some lettuce leaves.

"It'sh great," Sam agreed, her mouth full.

Clover had just put a bite of salad into her mouth when the Belle drawled, "Yew know, Bud, we gotta remember to spray them lettuces out back when we get home. Them caterpillars is gettin' way outta hand. Why last week when Ah had Maeve over fer lunch one of them dang things was raight in her salad! She almost ate the dang thaing!"

Clover choked and sputtered and tossed her fork down. She guzzled half her Coke while Alex and Sam looked at her in surprise. "Something wrong, Clover?" asked Sam.

"N-no," Clover stammered, putting the glass back down. Bud and Belle were busy ordering at this point; Clover stared at her salad, eyes wide. Her friends had gone back to their food and didn't notice her strange behavior.

After a few minutes Alex raised her head and noticed Clover fearfully lifting a lettuce leaf with her fork. "Uhh, Clover… what are you doing?" Alex demanded.

"Nothing," Clover said, hastily putting her fork down. Alex rolled her eyes. "Give me a break! You've been acting weird since we got here."

"Well, the room got to me. But now I can enjoy a fancy dinner!" the blond lied as their waiter headed towards them with their second course. Alex studied Clover's salad plate. "You didn't eat much of that."

"I know," Clover said, smiling widely. "I'm allergic to caterpillars... I mean lettuce."

Alex gave her a funny look as their waiter put their plates down on the table. "Ready for the paté de foie gras, ladies?" he asked.

"Yep! Sam said. Their waiter put one plate in front of each girl and took up their salad plates. "Enjoy," he said as he walked off.

"This smells good," Clover said, sniffing appreciatively. "Pate de foie gras - how chic! How French! How sophisticated!" she said as she cut a big piece with her fork and put it in her mouth. She chewed, swallowed and grinned. "It tastes fabbo!"

"What does it stand for, Sammie?" asked Alex, looking curiously at her portion.

"Goose liver paste," Sam replied, busily eating.

Clover's face turned green and she threw her fork down. Hand over her mouth, she jumped up and ran out of the restaurant. Sam and Alex stared at her, as did all the other diners.

After a while Alex said, "So… I guess we'll split her dessert, right?"

* * *

Clover ran straight out of the hotel and into some bushes where she was promptly sick. After emptying her stomach she decided to go up to her room, too humiliated to go back inside and face her friends. And the cigarette smoke. "So much for this dream assignment," she thought angrily as she went into an elevator. "It's been nothing but trouble so far." 

She got out on the 16th floor and headed to her room. Unfortunately when she got there she realized Sam had the pass, so Clover couldn't get inside. So she had to go all the way back down to the lobby and wait for her friends to finish eating dinner.

Needless to say, she wasn't in a very good mood when Alex and Sam finally left the restaurant nearly an hour later. "That carrot cake was SO awesome!" Alex sighed, rubbing her stomach in satisfaction.

"Yeah, and my chocolate cheesecake was great," Sam grinned. "That dinner makes up for our frizzy hairdos!"

She caught sight of Clover's face, which was purple with rage. "Um, Clover… is something wrong?"

Clover snarled and Sam suddenly remembered. "Oh, yeah! You didn't like the, uh… the paté…"

"Don't say it," Clover hissed. She grabbed both her friends' arms and yanked them towards the elevators.

* * *

"So we finally get to go on our mission," said Alex later as she zipped up her clubbing suit. 

"It's about time! I can't wait to get inside City Speaks and meet some cute guys," Clover said, combing her hair.

"Remember, Clover… we're here on a mission," Sam said, putting a vial of anti-pheromone in her belt.

"Yadda, yadda. I know. Come on, let's get this show on the road," Clover said. Her stomach rumbled; Sam and Alex looked at her curiously. "You didn't hear that," the blond said, cheeks pink as she fixed her hair one last time and went towards the door. Sam and Alex grinned at each other and followed her, locking the door shut as they left.


	4. Clover's Nightmare

**  
Eccentric Cheezy Squirrel: **Actually, the guy looked very young for his age... like me, lol. I studied French in high school but forgot most of it. How embarrassing... and I know the names of some fancy dishes because of all the cooking shows I watch.

**Mat49324: **Thanks. Here's the next chapter :)

* * *

"No way in HELL am I going in that place!" Clover shouted, panic-stricken.

Her two friends tugged at her arms, dragging her unwilling body towards the entrance. "What's the matter, Clover? I thought you said you couldn't wait to go clubbing," Sam said wickedly.

"That was before I found out it's a **gay** club!"

Women of all shapes, color and height were milling around on the sidewalk. One of them spotted the girls and let out a loud wolf-whistle; heads turned their way and Sam blushed as red as her hair. "Clover, quit struggling and get inside!" she hissed.

A young woman walked over to them, stopping next to Alex. She looked her up and down then said, "Baby, ain't you a bit _young_ to be in a place like this?"

"Aah… aah… um… I'm doing research for a school assignment," Alex lied.

Sam rolled her eyes and even Clover groaned. The woman laughed, tossing her head back. "A school assignment about dykes? Yeah, and my name is Oprah." She leaned forward and whispered to the girls. "Don't matter if you have ID or not… Chris don't care what age y'all be."

She gave Clover a friendly pat on the butt and the blond leapt three feet upwards. As the woman left, Clover ground her teeth together in a rage. "Jerry is going to be SO dead when we get home!" she seethed.

"Maybe we could get some of these girls' autographs," Sam grinned. Clover made a face and allowed herself to be dragged inside the building.

* * *

The spies sat huddled together at a table, looking fearfully around the crowded room. Most of the lights were off and loud funky music thudded through the club. Knots of women were dancing in the cleared space near the center of the room; some of them were kissing. "Ugh. I think I'm going to be sick!" Clover gagged.

"It _is_ a bit much," Alex agreed, looking in wide-eyed amazement at the antics of a couple sitting across from them. "Even looking at Mandy would be better than looking at _this_!"

"Helloooo, ladies. You must be new; I've never seen you here before." A tall skinny woman with shaved head and black nail polish slithered over to their table, standing next to Clover. "Studs! I like," she grinned.

Sam, Clover and Alex looked at each other in horror. "Um… h-hi," Alex wobbled in a high-pitched voice.

"Hello yourself. May I introduce myself as Chris Dagan, the owner of this fabulous joint. Who might you be?" she cooed, gazing intently at Clover who shuddered.

"I'm Sam, she's Alex and that's Clover."

"Sam? Alex? Very nice names. Rather ambiguous, don't you think?" asked Chris meaningfully. She looked at Clover again. "On the other hand, Clover reminds me of a beast on my father's farm. You don't look much like her, though."

Clover's face turned red as a beet while Sam and Alex giggled. "Sam isn't my real name, it's Samantha," the redhead explained. "And Alex is short for Alexandria."

"Oh hush, dear, I know. _My_ name is short for Christine. Shall I bring you a drink? Courtesy of City Speaks? On the house?" Chris cooed.

"We're not old enough to drink," said Alex.

Chris looked surprised. "Is that so. Well, pardon me for thinking you were more mature." Her smile broadened into a grin. "But that can be changed." She gave them a wolfish grin and sailed off, blending into the crowd.

Clover turned to her friends, her face distraught. "Why did Jerry send us here? This has to be a mistake! Let's get out of this place before someone tries to ask us out on a date!"

At that moment a woman in her twenties came over to the table. "Nice hair," she said to Clover.

The blond squirmed in embarrassment while her friends smothered laughter. "Thanks. I condition it every day," Clover finally managed to get out.

"You do? So do I. I run a hairdressing salon. Maybe we should get together sometime," the woman said, hooking her thumbs in the waistband of her low-cut leather slacks.

Clover's face turned white and she hurriedly got up from the table. "I…I have to go to the bathroom. Come with me," she said, dragging Sam and Alex behind her.

* * *

In the washroom, Clover slammed the door shut and leaned against it. "What am I going to do? I don't want to date that… _that_…" she choked.

"Well, I dunno, Clover. After all you two **do** have something in common," Sam said wickedly.

"Samantha Simpson, I can't believe you think this is funny! I'd rather date **Arnold** again than any of those creatures outside! Is there a window in here? Maybe I can crawl out and go back to the hotel," Clover said hopefully, looking at the ceiling.

Sam followed her gaze. "Doesn't look like it. You need to do something so she won't find you so attractive."

"Oh, I got it! Now I know what this is for." Alex took out her bottle of anti-pheromone. "This should do the trick!"

"Alex, you're a genius!" Clover took out her bottle and liberally splashed herself with the chemical. "Thank goodness Jerry gave this to us!"

"Yeah, I feel a lot better now, too." Sam closed her vial and put it back in the waistband of her costume. "Okay, let's get back out there – and hopefully we can start looking for clues to those missing students."

* * *

The spies made their way back to their table somewhat nervously. They shouldn't have been; Jerry's anti-pheromone did the trick and the women in the club were no longer attracted to the girls.

"Of course, now that they're not hanging over us they're ignoring us," Sam said, drumming her fingers on the table in annoyance. "We have to get information from these people if we have any hope of finding those missing students!"

"Who are they, again?" asked Clover, dipping into a bowl of salted peanuts.

Sam took out some photographs from her pocket and put them on the table. "Sixteen students have disappeared in the past two weeks. They were all last reported seen near this club. All of them are college students. Most of them board at their school and came here to party, and they just vanished."

"Did more girls disappear than boys? Or was it girls alone?" asked Alex.

"More girls than guys, but guys are on the missing list too," Sam said, shifting the photographs on the table.

"Hey, I know her. She's cute." A petite woman leaned over Sam's shoulder, pointing out a picture of a dark-haired girl. Sam grew hopeful. "You've seen her? Is she here?"

"Not now." The woman grew thoughtful. "She came here a few times last week. She isn't gay, but she didn't mind partying with us."

"When exactly did you see her last?" asked Clover.

"Thursday."

"I see." Sam spread out the photos. "Do you see anyone else you recognize?"

The woman studied the photos and pointed out two other girls. "I saw them one time or another. I think they were out front with some boys. I didn't watch 'em leave or nothing."

"Okay. Thanks for your help. What's your name? I'm Samantha and this is Clover and Alex," Sam said.

"Pleased to meetcha. I'm Debbie. Gotta run now, my girlfriend's giving me some funny looks." Debbie waved and hurried off; the spies looked excitedly at one another.

"Finally some information! I think this club definitely has some weird vibes. What do you think, Sammie?" asked Alex.

The redhead nodded. "There's something fishy going on here, though I don't know what it is yet. We'll have to question some other people, see if we can get more leads about the students."

"You mean we have to talk to other, uh… lesbians?" Clover hissed in a low voice, face crumpled in dismay. "I was hoping it was time to… leave… you know? It _is_ kinda late," she said, cheerfully pointing to a wall clock that indicated the time was barely eight-fifteen.

Sam and Alex glowered at her and Clover gave a resigned chuckle. "Just kidding…"

Sam split the photos between herself, Clover and Alex. Then the girls set out to interview different patrons at the club. It wasn't an easy task, what with the dim lights and dancing going on, plus drinking and other things. For Clover it was especially difficult, but she reminded herself she was a WOOHP agent and had a job to do. And when this was over she could land herself a date with the new quarterback at their high school. _Testosterone, lots of testosterone, _she kept telling herself.

* * *

After a couple of hours the girls met in the washroom to compare notes. "Any luck?" Sam asked.

"Totally! All of my students were seen here," Clover said. Alex nodded. "Mine, too."

"That settles it. This place had something to do with kidnapping them. I want to talk to the woman who owns this joint," said Sam.

"Oh, you mean Chris?" asked Alex.

"Yeah, her. She's got sharp eyes, seems to know all the regulars here – and therefore, those who aren't."

"Let's go find her!" said Alex. She led the way to the exit and her friends followed. Just then the door opened and the woman who'd patted Clover's butt outside the club walked in. "Look who's here! Having a threesome?" she asked, before vanishing into a cubicle.

Clover started shaking with rage; Alex and Sam grabbed her arms and yanked her out of the washroom. "She is so **dead**! I am _so_ going to kill her!" Clover fumed.

"You're not allowed to kill anyone, especially since you're a WOOHP agent," soothed Sam. "Forget about her."

"Yeah, at least she didn't make a pass at you again!" Alex giggled. Clover gritted her teeth but allowed herself to be led back to the club itself.

"That's weird. Chris isn't here," said Sam, scratching her head.

"Maybe she had a hot date and had to leave," Clover said sourly. "With Debbie or Donna or whoever else is in this place."

"Or maybe she saw us asking questions and decided it was a good time to vanish," suggested Alex with a smug look.

Sam grinned at her. "You're probably right, Alex! She has to be hiding something."

"Yeah, besides those wrinkles on her cheeks," Clover sniped.

"She can't get away from us that easily. We'll be back tomorrow to talk to her." Sam turned and headed for the exit. "Let's go. Time for a shower and bed."

_Finally! _Clover thought with relief. As the girls headed out of the club Alex snatched up a matchbook from a table. She'd do some searching on the WOOHP database and see what information came up about the club – and its owner.


End file.
